Tuesday, June 5, 2012

All Time Is NOT Created Equal

So I thought about this post while taking my "shower" this morning. By "shower" I mean that I had 5 minutes to throw myself under barely luke-warm water & wash the essentials as fast as humanly possible.

My dear husband claimed he was leaving for work in "10 minutes" so I thought - ok great, I have time for a quick shower & in I went. 3 minutes later I heard the front door close & about 45 seconds after that there was banging on the bathroom door & a toddler yelling "MAMA MAMA MAMA What you DOOOOin?"

This "time gap" happens OFTEN in our house. Below I've listed some examples.

5 SECONDS: The amount of time I have to pick up the child after re-entering the room before she blows up like the little time-bomb she is (this still applies even if I have only been gone from her sight for 10 seconds).

10 SECONDS: The amount of time it takes me to ACTUALLY count to 3 when the toddler is doing something he shouldn't be doing (STOP LAUGHING - you know you do it too - 1.... 2.... 2 1/4.... 2 1/2.... 2 3/4... 2 7/8.... - & here you thought learning fractions in school wasn't going to get used "later in life" HA!).

1 MINUTE: The amount of time my husband says he needs to "save his game" on the Xbox & help with the kids. In REALITY, he's turning it off 15 minutes later (I probably give him way more grief about this than I should b/c he doesn't play Xbox much anymore since we had kids).

5 MINUTES: The amount of time I say I need ("Mommy just needs 5 minutes"). In REALITY, I want a week-long solo vacation to somewhere with lots of sun, a pool & unlimited alcoholic beverages.

10 MINUTES: The amount of time it should take me to do the dishes. In REALITY, it takes at least 30 because I have to keep coming in the living room to check on the kids because there is fighting/fussing or crying OR it's TOO quiet.

15 MINUTES: The amount of time hubs asks for on a weekend morning so he can keep sleeping. In REALITY, he rolls out of bed about an HOUR later (and only after I let the kids cry/fuss for a little while to "help" wake him up). (Again I give him too much grief about this since he works long, crazy hours during the week - LOVE YOU HONEY!)

30 MINUTES: The amount of time I have to get our weekly grocery shopping done if I take the kids. Any longer and I'd better let them snack on something or buy them one of those crappy grocery store toys that will fall apart the moment we get in the car! (This is where planning ahead comes in VERY handy!)

45 MINUTES: The amount of time a 1 hour TV show actually is after commercials - not that I EVER get to watch one in it's entirety. (I still want to get a DVR, but I don't want to pay DirecTV like $200 to get one!)

1 HOUR: The amount of CONSECUTIVE sleep I get on a good night (I'm NOT really exaggerating).

2 HOURS: The amount of time lil princess used to go between feedings, yet in REALITY it felt like 5 minutes between each one.

4 HOURS: The minimum amount of sleep I need to keep the children alive & not burn the house down during the day. In REALITY I probably get a total of that each night, but it's not consecutive hours.

7 to 8 HOURS: The amount of time 'non-parents' probably get to sleep at night - assuming they aren't up late partying with their FRIENDS. (NOTE: Enjoy your sleep now! Don't stay up late partying! You'll be up at all hours after you become a parent & those are the times for alcohol!)

20 HOURS: The time limit on any carseat for a long road trip. This statistic has been tested by us on many occasions & it rings true EVERY time. (NOTE: This is not 20 hours IN the actual carseat but 20 hours total from the time you 1st buckle them in until you HAVE to stop for the night & get it out of their sight for a minimum of 6 hours).

24 HOURS: The amount of time in a day - but sometimes it seems SOOO much longer, and other times it flies by - it all depends on how much sleep you got the night before & how much coffee you guzzled after you woke up.

I hope you enjoyed this! Post some "time gap" stats of your own in the comments!

Later Taters!

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